The End of Blogtober/ A Recap

Blogtober 2017

Here you will find all of the links to my Blogtober posts!

I know it’s only been two days since my last master list post but I thought I would recap the entirety of Blogtober for you in case you missed any or want a single post where you can find all the individual ones. I’ll list all the links to the weekly recaps which were published on Sundays and then I will list all of the individual posts by type/day below it.
Some artices may have the links missing (from around week 4) as I have been without a secure internet connection this week and as I'm writing this, these posts are still currently listed as "scheduled" so I don't have the published link to be able to set them up now. 

Each individual post can either be accessed by clicking on its title or through any words that are in bold and are underlined.

Week One (1^st – 8^th)

Week Two (9^th – 15^th)

Week Three (16^th – 22^nd)

Week Four (23^rd – 29^th)

30^th October

31^st October (This post)

Mondays – Personal Experience With…

Bullying
Depression
Agoraphobia
Coping/Distraction Techniques
Paranoia

Tuesdays – Posts You’d Usually See on Mondays

Social Media Cleanses
Why I Started Blogging
Art
Little Known Facts

Wednesdays – Mental Health Information

The Circle of Avoidance
10 Rules for Coping with Anxiety
Avoiding Situations
OCD

Thursdays – Self-Care Q&A Responses

Jen
Bunnie
Kerry
Lola

Fridays – Favourites

Songs
Bands & Artists
Products
YouTubers

Saturdays – Super Bloggers

Courtney (Unfiltered Mama)
Bunnie (HappyBunnyBlog)
Cairon (Travel Bear 92)
Jordanne (Of a Glasgow Girl)

Again, please let me know what you think of these posts; I always look forward to reading your comment and I will reply to all of them.

I’m going to take a week or so off from blogging but my next question is: should I do Blogmas? You can either let me know in the comment section below or by the poll I will be posting on Twitter.

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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My Experience with... Paranoia

Paranoia

*Before you read this I would like you to remember that what I am discussing affects me daily and whilst it is an entirely irrational series of thoughts, it is very real to me and is to be taken seriously should any comments be made. I am aware that I sound insane when making the points you’re about to read.*

Out of all the things I haven’t talked about, paranoia is one of them. Not because I don’t want to talk about it but because there’s not really much to say about it. I am extremely paranoid whenever I go out and, at the risk of sounding completely insane, it got so bad when I was 15/16 that I had to take down all of my posters.
I know this started back when I was in school just like a lot of my disorders/illnesses but I can’t quite pinpoint when it started. I know I was at least 15/16 when it got really bad, as pointed out previously, but it’s one of those things that I’ve always felt. I know it started because when I was in Primary School people used to laugh and point at me, and they would make up rumours (childish ones like “she’s so weird”). When I got to high school the pointing, staring, laughing and whispering got even worse that even now I’m convinced that anytime someone is looking at me or when a conversation stops when I walk into a room/past others it’s because of something negative about me – my hair is a mess, I’m too ugly, too fat etc. etc. This is why I had to remove the posters because, no matter where you were in the room, eyes were on you (even though they couldn’t actually see you). I can’t even have my favourite bands/artists as a background on my laptop as it would be there on start-up and shut down and all dvd and CD cases are either in cupboards or boxes because I find them disturbing – and that’s just because the person on the cover was looking directly at the camera.

I’m aware that I sound completely bat-shit crazy but that is how insane paranoia makes you. It’s not rational – as I said I know whoever is on a magazine or CD cover isn’t actually looking at me because there is no way a two-dimensional object can possess the power of sight – but it is something that takes over my daily life. I don’t even like getting changed in front of the Netflix or YouTube home screens because of it, I have every camera (web cams, phone cameras) in my room at is covered and my curtains either don’t get opened or are drawn most of the day when I’m feeling at my worst. Thankfully my paranoia doesn’t extend to other people’s belongings but I do hide when the cameras come out.
I can’t eat in front of others as it makes me extremely uncomfortable. This began in Primary School as I was either being teased about what I had (tuna pasta isn’t “cool”, apparently) or shamed for eating at all because I’m “big enough as it is”. Often this would result in me finding my snack had been stolen and my lunch tampered with. In high school this developed into people throwing their lunch or home economics (cookery class) creations at me. Thanks, peers. You really saved me from those pre-existing medical conditions and medications that made me gain weight and made it impossible for me to lose weight. It was clearly what I ate that brought it on. *insert eye roll emoticon”.
Paranoia also controls whether or not I go out or do certain things in front of others (for example: eating as mentioned above or going to the gym). And I find that I need my distraction techniques whenever I dare to venture outside to stop me from completely breaking down in public.

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Blogtober Weekly Recap #4

Weekly Recap #4

Wow. This month has really flown by. Here I am writing the final master list for a week’s worth of posts. There’s only two days left of Blogtober after this and then I think I’m going to take a well-deserved break from blogging for a week or two whilst I consider doing Blogmas or not. What do you think? Should I do Blogmas? Let me know in the comments below. Also; apologies in advance if this post is missing some links. I'm writing this in advance as I most likely won't have access to a compute/secure wifi and the links aren't available to me right now as they are still set as "scheduled". By the time you read this, however, they will be live. I will try my best to get them set up before I end up with no internet but if I am unable to I will update this page next week.
As always; anything in bold and underlined can be clicked to take you to the blog post I am referring to.

Coping and distraction techniques are a key part to me keeping from having complete meltdowns when I’m out and about so I shared mine with you on Monday.

On Tuesday I shared some more little known facts about me. I previously shared some when I did the requirements for the Versatile Blogger Award.

Wednesday brought some more information in regards to mental health. This week’s informational post was about OCD.

The lovely Lola sent in her answers to my self-care Q & A for Thursday’s post which you can find here.

You can learn all about who my favouriteYouTubers are and why via Friday’s instalment of favourites and who my super blogger of the week is over on Saturday’s post here.

Thanks for coming back for another master list; I really appreciate it and look forward to hearing from you.

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Super Blogger - Jordanne

Super Blogger Saturday

My final Super Blogger of Blogtober is … Jordanne of The Life of a Glasgow Girl! Jordanne is also the creator of @Bloggerstribe on Twitter and she is an Ambassador of Magnitone.

How we met: When I was asking around the blogging community for help over which hashtags to use, the most common one that came up time and time again was the one for bloggerstribe (#bloggerstribe) so I followed the account and, as the creator of the account, Jordanne’s own account was recommended for me to follow. Our first correspondence through her Twitter account was just me replying to a Tweet of hers with a simple hug gif and her thanking me for it. Sometimes all you need is a hug (gif).

Her personality: She is one of the most hardworking bloggers that I have come across during my short time blogging on here. She is another all-round good human who is so lovely, sweet and caring. She is also so helpful and supportive which shines through not only on her personal blog/Twitter but through her Bloggerstribe account too. She is forever rt’ing everyone who uses the hashtag – she must be sick of seeing my name by now!

What she writes about: Jordanne’s blog is full of posts about beauty products, reviews, life stories and parenting tidbits. She is a very “no holds barred” blogger which means that, as long as she is happy to talk about it, no subject is taboo and there are no restrictions as to what she writes about.

Her writing style: When I read Jordanne’s blog posts I feel a connection to her writing and to who she is as her posts are very relatable. I’m not a parent nor have an interest in the beauty genre but every single one of her posts makes for an interesting read. You don’t have to be into that she writes about to enjoy reading her content.
Reading her most recent piece (at the time of writing this) “That’s Life” hit me hard. I understood the inner struggles she talked about and my heart went out to her; not out of pity but because I got it. I get the whole feeling of “bleh” and just having this fog come down around you seemingly out of nowhere when you think you’re getting on great in life. I was glad to hear that she is gradually exposing herself to the things she loves again as it shows how resilient she is. I really admire that quality in her.

Why you should follow her/read her blog: Aside from the fact that she possesses all of the traits I have listed about under “Her Personality” and being a tremendous help hashtag-wise, she also offers packages for advertising with her. These packages start from as little as £1 (rate will vary depending on which currency you use) which includes your blog being listed in her Advertisers post and being included in her #ff (follow Friday) every Friday and her most expensive is the Unicorn Package at £10 which is still a bargain for the amount that she offers within it. You can find all of her package deals here (http://www.thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk/p/advertise.html).

Where you can find her: You can find Jordanne on her personal blog’s Twitter, her blog and through Bloggerstribe on Twitter. You can also follow/like her on Facebook, Pinterest and Bloglovin.

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Friday Favourites - YouTubers

Friday Favourites: YouTubers

For this final favourites post I thought I would share with you who some of my favourite YouTubers are and display some of their videos that have really given me a laugh/much needed motivation (or were even too weird to not share) when I’ve felt quite terrible mentally. 

Jenna Marbles – Jenna is one of the first YouTubers I discovered back before the whole concept of being a YouTuber was even a thing. She’s also one of the few whose channel I have followed all the way from the start. She always makes me laugh and is the reason why I look forward to Thursdays. I just love her “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and how she still makes content that makes her happy but still asks her viewers what they would like to see. She’s the only person who can post a nearly 12 minute-long video of her dog reviewing soap and over 2 million (stats so far on the video) people will won’t even question it or think she’s lost her, well, marbles.

Rose & Rosie – Rose & Rosie provide some much needed comic relief when everything is going wrong. Their good moods are always infectious and I love how they can make each other laugh – which is great at drawing in their audience. They also come across as two of the nicest women on YouTube and I think that is key in making their viewers feel welcome to their channels. They are the only people who can make me laugh until I pee from a single word - “boop” for example (embarrassingly that is a true story. Hey! I was really ill at the time). Every time they post on Rose's channel, I leave it for viewing last (save the best til last) and even though content isn't as frequent on her channel (Rose's channel is their main video hub), I have been watching all of the vlogs on Rosie's channel all over again.

Cristine (Simply Nailogical & Simply Not Logical) -  Cristine is another who constantly makes me laugh with her videos. Not only does she do nail tutorials (wait; what? lol) that are easy to follow along with but she is also able to take the mick out of herself. She is another who isn't afraid to be herself and I admire her confidence. Going back to her tutorials, I've learned a lot from her. For example, I now know how to make my own nail decals and what holo actually is.
Just watch one of her videos and you’ll see what I mean.   

Lilly Singh (iisuperwomanii) – Most people know Lilly for her comedy sketches and whilst they are hilarious, it is her vlogs that really draw me in. Anyone who has watched one of them knows that not only does she set out a mission list for herself every single day (whether it’s to do x amount of interviews, rants etc. or even just keeping on track with self-care) but she goes above and beyond to make sure that she conquers that list. I always start of any writing day with one of her latest vlogs whilst I eat and plan out my own mission list. She is currently on a mission to make sure that every girl in the world has the opportunity to go to school and receive an education so below is a link to her campaign announcement. it also serves as an example of her being an absolute Bawse.

Liza Koshy – Liza is someone who has only recently just crossed my radar. She originated over on Vine until it closed but it was only through her YouTube channel (and Lilly Singh’s Christmas collab from last year) that I became aware of who she is. I find her character sketches hilarious – Helga and Younger Liza are two of my favourite characters. She's not afraid to just be out there and to be herself. I know for me I would struggle even just walking and talking in a store, never mind filming parts of character videos and vlogs in them.

Tyler Oakley – Tyler is another whose channel I have been watching grow over the years. Not only that but I’ve seen him grow into such a wonderful person. I really admire all the work he does for/in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly for the Trevor Project and all of his fundraising. I know that over at least two of his birthdays he set up a campaign for his fans to donate to the Trevor Project in lieu of sending him gifts. That’s the kind of person I like to see on YouTube; one who is not only charitable but also encourages his fans/viewers to do so as well. Also, who else can get Zayn Malik to confess that his middle name is Beyonce?

If you would like to a part 2 to this, let me know. I still have so many left to share with you.

Anxiously,
Me

You can Anxiously, Me on:
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Self-Care Q&A Response #14 ft Lola

Self-Care Q&A Response #14

The final contributor for this this round of responses is Lola of Don’t Dream Do (formally Jittery Jetsetter). You can find her on Twitter here if you want to check her out or give her a follow.

1. How do you know when you are in need of some self-care?

It’s a feeling that I get in my chest, almost like very mild anxiety. It can either just come over me randomly or I can wake up with it and i feel down or sad.

2. Once you are aware that you need to take care of yourself, do you usually do so alone or do you have someone you can go to when you need some TLC?

It depends on the severity of it, if I’m feeling really down I need to be alone but if its not as bad I would definitely seek out my partner, one of my friends, my sister or my niece.


3. Do you find it hard to make time for yourself?

Yes for sure! Life is so hectic, I work full time, visit my Dad who’s in a care home with dementia 2 hours every day, walk the dog twice a day so there’s barely time cook meals never mind time to relax.


4. Is there anything that gets in the way of your “me” time/disrupts it (for me: noises outside can put me on edge or if other people are home I need to be mindful of how long I take, say, in the shower)?

Yep just everyday life lol, I feel like I shouldn’t be chilling out or something fun when there are things that need doing like housework or errands.


5. Do you ever feel guilty for having “me” time?

As I rarely have ‘me’ time not really no.


6. Do you schedule in “me” time or do you “go with the flow”/only take “me” time when you feel you need it?

I would say I only have ‘me’ time when I’m feeling really low. I should try to ‘treat’ myself when I’m feeling good too and hoping to try yoga and meditation if I ever get the time:)

7. Is there a self-care routine that you try to follow?

Once I’ve woken up in the morning i need to lie for 5 minutes just to take in the day, during which I’m usually complaining in my head about having to get up and walk the dog, however having to go out in the fresh air really clears my head and then I enjoy a nice hot bath before starting work.


8. When you feel down/not like your usual self; what do you do to cheer yourself up (hobbies, being with loved ones etc)?

A bath always helps, a face mask and I always feel better after washing my hair. If I’m feeling down I usually have to get out the house and into a different space. I love swimming and used to go every day but I don’t have a car anymore so can’t fit it it.

9. Do you have any mantras that you say to yourself as a pick me up or on a daily basis?

I don’t really, but if I’m feeling down I always try to remind myself of times when life has been worse, like when I had to go to a job I hated or didn’t live in the nicest of houses to make myself see how much better things are now.

10. Finally; do you have any self-care tips for anyone who might be reading this?

Do what you love! Theres no set rules as everyone enjoys different things so whatever makes you feel good - do it!!

~ That is it for this round of responses. I know that whenever I do a poll with this as an option no one ever picks it but numbers don’t lie and people do actually read them so I’m going to be keeping it open for this section to make a comeback at some point. Plus, I’m actually really proud of the Q&A. It was my first attempt at something of its sort and I feel like it did really well.

See you tomorrow for the instalment of favourites!

Anxiously,
Me

If you decide to use this, please let me know first and give credit. There’s nothing worse than finding out something that you worked really hard on has been taken and uncredited, sometimes even plagiarised.

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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

The main features of obsessive compulsive disorder are:
obsessive thoughts; a person may notice upsetting or even anxious thoughts continuously popping into their heads time and time again. These can ended up going around in their heads for a a very long time.
and compulsive behaviours  (usually occurring with said thoughts).
These can not only be very upsetting but scary as well and the person may try to avoid the situations that trigger these thoughts to prevent them from happening in the first place or will feel compelled to go along with them to prevent harm (say one of these thoughts is presented as “I must do x this amount of times to prevent x from happening”).
They may carry out rituals such as repeating a particular prayer or word/phrase to make these thoughts go away/decrease in intensity or to keep someone safe.
They may also do certain activities to stop harmful consequences such as checking locks and switches.

A lot of people notice that is it a particular behaviour that they have to carry out in order to feel “right” such as excessively cleaning a room or even their hands.

Many of these things are, when not overcome by compulsion, are completely rational (checking locks before leaving the house). However, with OCD, these rational actions/behaviours/thoughts become excessive and the person ends up repetitively going through the same actions/behaviours/thoughts until their mind tells them that it is safe to, for example, leave the house or even go to bed. 


*Note: Pieces about Mental Health Information are based off of what I have been taught and the "homework" books that were given are used as a guideline for these posts. Whilst I may have been taught these things by health care professionals, I am not one and information may change or be inaccurate. If you feel at risk by your thoughts and feelings or have concerns about you health; please seek help from loved ones and health care professionals. This information is not to be used to self-diagnose. If you know you have hypochondriac tendencies, are sensitive to subjects like bullying, depression and anxiety, and are easily triggered then information and experiences shared in this blog may cause distress. I have tried my best to provide trigger warnings and warnings about sensitive subjects but please read at your own discretion.

Little Known Facts About Me

Little Known Facts About Me

I thought I would take it easy for this post and do a little list of 10 little known facts about me. Then I  realised that I’m probably one of the most boring people to ever have existed and discovered that it was actually really quite difficult coming up with even 3 facts but I. DID. IT. So here are “10 Little Known Facts About Me”.

1. I did Judo. Once. I was the only girl and when it came to pairing up, much like with every time we were asked to pick partners in school, I was the odd one out. I think I was about 10 at the time but isn’t it funny how when you’re a kid you can just suss out right from the start whether someone or a group of people are right for you? I just couldn’t shake the feeling that if I went back I would yet again be left out so I quit. It wasn’t a big loss to me; I had no interest in sports of any kind and had no tolerance for martial arts. I don’t regret it either.

2. When I was a kid I used to fantasise about being a popstar and living in a mansion somewhere hot. It wasn’t so much the fame, money or the luxury that drew me in; it was the need to be recognised in a positive way (or just seen at all) and being able to live a life where I could escape from my past by moving as far away as possible.  If I’m completely honest; I still want that. I want people to see me for me and I want to be able to provide for myself despite being unwell.

3. I am double jointed. I only discovered this when I got my fingers jammed in a door and my fingers came out of it looking not unlike E.T’s. Turns out the joints had locked and because they were injured they were taking a little while to release and go back to normal.

4. I can also turn my tongue onto its side (both sides). How I discovered that is beyond me.

5. I can’t sleep if there is a mess. I have been known to tidy up friends’ bedrooms (or wherever we ended up sleeping) just to be able to sleep. I would ask permission first and they would be fine with it – it was freeing cleaning after all. They didn’t understand my need, this compulsion, to do so and neither did I until I started going to group sessions for anxiety and found out it was one of the traits that belongs to the OCD side of one of the forms of anxiety that I have.

6. Just over two years ago I won tickets to see Little Mix and One Direction at the Apple Music Festival in London. Aside from the anxiety and travel side of things (over 9 hours by coach and then another hour or so navigating the tube), it was an amazing experience.

7. That trip was also my first time away without my parents.

8. I have met Westlife, two of my favourite YouTubers/Vloggers (Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita) follow my personal Twitter and Lilly Singh (iisuperwomanii on YT) has mentioned me by name in one of her vlogsprobably about 2 years ago now. If you’re wondering why there is no link to said vlog; I don’t want my personal account to be associated with this blog as it takes away the whole “being anonymous” thing I have going on.

9. In school I chose to learn both French and Spanish. I learned how to speak French when I was 3 from educational TV shows and songs but no longer speak it or Spanish fluently. I loved being in those classes. Myself and one other girl ended up confusing the teacher we had as she taught both of the classes and we sat in the same seats for both lessons. It also didn’t help that one day a week she taught us French 2^nd period and then Spanish 3^rd after a break. I also know Portuguese and Italian through songs and translating Tweets on an account for my other website.

10. I don’t speak about it but I have PCoS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). It’s an absolute pain in the ass (well, ovaries and uterus). I was told at 14 after tests that I had it and it was a relief to know that the extremely horrendous pain I was feeling, the breaks in between periods and the amount of blood loss I was experiencing was actually down to a medical condition and not something being seriously wrong. I was on medication for about 7 years for it until they had to change it because it was deemed a health risk (links to causing cancer and , oh, death) and also would have been a lethal combination with the antidepressants I was prescribed at the time too. Fun.

I hope you enjoyed those facts and learned something about me that you didn’t before. Have you had similar experiences?

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on
This mental health and lifestyle blog
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Coping & Distraction Techniques

Coping/Distraction Techniques

My need for distractions began, like with my disorders, at a very young age. I would come home and the first thing I would do was go to my room and listen to music to escape the torment of bullies and to stop their vicious words from going around in my head on a continuous loop, completely destroying me and driving me insane. Here is a small list of distraction techniques that I use when I’m going into situations that cause me distress like travelling and when I begin to feel run down my by depression and anxiety:

Music/iPod – I like to listen to a lot of the artists featured on my favourite bands & artists list from week one of Blogtober. If I’m at home I will have them on whilst I write up posts that make me incredibly sad to rehash or they will be on whilst I take some time to just lay on my bed and breathe. If I’m out and about I will charge up my iPod the night before to make sure it has enough battery to last the length of my travel time or for however long I may be in a particular shop.

Movies/Programmes/YouTube – Sometimes music isn’t enough and I need a visual distraction. This is when my favourite movies come out and I watch some of my favourite programmes on Netflix or I watch some of favourite YouTubers listed here.

Tapping – We had a session where the facilitator taught us about tapping pressure points. You start at the top of your body and you use two or more fingers to tap parts of your body to a particular beat. You make your way down, tapping various pressure points and repeat until you feel calm. You can even say positive affirmation with it for something like “I am not afraid of x, I am in a safe place” as long as they follow the same beat – like when making up a rhyme.

My phone/Kindle – As with movies/programmes and YouTube, sometimes you need more than background noise to feel calm or, in cases like mine, safe. My phone allows me to have a physical distraction if I’m waiting for someone and they are late (I’m always early too due to my anxiety issues which doesn’t help in this case). I also always have it on me so I can keep in contact with my parents as I rely on that contact to keep me from driving myself sick.  Along with my phone, my Kindle allows me to talk to my friends who are available about how I’m feeling and it also provides other forms of distraction such as access to YouTube, games and music.

Breathing techniques – Again, this was something were taught in one of our group sessions. There are a few but the one that seems to be working for me when I’m coming down from having a panic attack is the one where you breathe in for a count of, say 8, and then out again for a little bit longer. It helps to steady my breathing and allows me to get enough oxygen if I have been hyperventilating.

Continuing on this list but as coping methods, these are some of the signs that I am getting more anxious than usual.

Bouncing my leg – I could be sitting down or on my bed and my knee will bounce up and down. I also have a habit of tapping the sides of my feet against each other or the soles of my feet.

Rocking – I’ve has a habit of doing this since I was a kid. According to my mum I used to rock back and forth in a corner if there was a thunder storm outside. This still happens but when I’m feeling like I can’t cope.

Thumb twiddling – I do this a lot when I’m watching TV. I’ve found that it happens if I’m watching a distressing scene or if I feel myself getting emotionally involved with a movie or programme. 

Nail biting – This is a habit that, fortunately, I have been able to kick. It used to be that during term time at Primary School, High School and even college I would be constantly biting my nails because I was constantly worrying about what my peers were going to do or say to me.

A lot of the techniques described above for distraction only help me in the short term or when I’m coming down from a particularly bad episode and have no energy to even move. Oftentimes I have to get to a point where I’m relaxed enough to even think about doing them mindfully – something I will touch on at a later date. To further relax myself I will take a hot shower with some of the products I listed last week.

I think that is is for now; nothing else is coming to mind… Oh! Writing. I do a lot of writing too. Not because I want to have content for my blog or for my website but because it helps to take my mind off of whatever is causing me distress.

I’d best let you go for now, this post is long enough hahaha. See you tomorrow for another post!

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Blogtober Weekly Recap #3

Weekly Recap #3

Welcome to another weekly recap! Here you will find a master list all of this week’s Blogtober posts and where you can find them.
As always; anything in bold and underlined can be clicked on to take you to said post.

On Monday I talked about living with agoraphobia and the likes of when it started, when I was diagnosed with it and the on-going treatment which I receive for it.

Tuesday brought along something that I have never shared with this blog; my wish to share my art work with you and what led me to stop doing it. 

As I’m no stranger to avoidingsituations, I thought I would share some information about it on Wednesday and why it is unhealthy over on my mental health page.

My new friend Kerry sent in her response to my self-care Q &A on Thursday and on Friday I discussed what some of my favourite products are that I use in my day-to-day life and what products I gravitate towards when I need to take care of myself.

Finally, on Saturday I revealed that my Super Blogger of the week is Cairon (TravelBear92). All of my reasons why are here.

Thanks again for checking out my blog! If you liked a post; let me know. If you have thoughts on one of them; let me know. I look forward to hearing from you!

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Super Blogger - Cairon of Travel Bear

Super Blogger Saturday

My Super Blogger of the week is the amazing Cairon of TravelBear.  If you love the whole aspect of travel, amazing destinations and reading about them from someone else’s point of view then yyou should check out her blog.

How we met: When  I was new to doing promotion for my blog I followed a lot of people. Pretty much anyone who was recommended to me who was an advocate for mental health, had an amusing bio or Tweeted relatable things got a follow from me and Cairon’s account ticked all those boxes. She is also the one who nominated me for the “Versatile Blogger Award” and is the sole cause of the small breakdown I had because of it. I’m just kidding. I saw all these notifications and thought “what have I done?” I was so relieved it was just other people responding to her nomination list.

Her personality: She is adventurous as you can tell from her blog content (some listed below) and just super sweet. I think we had only maybe shared a couple of tweets between us before she nominated me but after she did I sent her a DM thanking her and she was just so friendly. She’s the kind of person that you talk to and you think “I really hope you get to see your dreams come true”. There’s not a mean or unkind bone in her body. She’s also incredibly helpful which you will discover if you read her post about budgeting (linked in the next paragraph)

What she writes about: Her blogs include posts about her Bucket List for Hong Kong, her experiences with budgeting for her new venture in Australia next year and how Disney World’s magic changed her life. You’ll find posts jam-packed with all of her fun adventures and even some posts where you can get to know all about her.

Her writing style: When Cairon blogs she always comes across as enthusiastic which is something I think a lot of us look for in a blogger. Her posts are informal and you feel as though you are reading something a friend has written even though at first you are on the blog of a complete stranger. Her budgeting piece that I have listed above is full of information about the services that she used but she doesn’t tell you that you HAVE to follow the exact same plan or go with the same services she has provided information for. She simply writes that this was who she used, what her experience was with them and if she recommends using them or not. At one point she even recommends going a different route rather than using the example of a service she has given. 

Why you should follow her/read her blog: Cairon is just such a lovely lass and if you enjoy reading about travelling/other peoples’ experiences with travelling then she is the blogger for you. She’s super friendly too so if you leave her a comment or tweet at her she will find time to respond.

Where you can find her: You can find Cairon on Twitter as @travelbear92 and you can read her blog here.

So why not go check Cairon’s blog and social media out and give her a follow or send her a friendly “hello”?

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Friday Favourites - Products

Friday Favourites: Products

Today’s favourites post is dedicated to the products that I use that not only help me to look good (in an “I’m a presentable human being” kind of way) but also help me feel good. You won’t find anything majorly expensive (the most expensive item was about £15) but they do the job.  I also feel like I need to put in a disclosure here that states that I am not getting paid to promote these items; I just really like them and wanted to share this part of my self-care routine with you.

Most of these products have also been key in helping me to relax enough to be able to sleep at night/get through the day without feeling too wound up. Here are the items that do so:

Nourishing Shower Crème – Dove. This shower crème is ridiculously creamy (as the name suggests) and leaves my skin feeling silky smooth. I love to apply it; it goes on like a dream. I especially like to apply it after I’ve shaved my legs; it makes me feel better about myself in the “I like something about my body for once” way.

Shampoo – Dove Daily Moisture & Garnier Fructis Colour Last. Both of these products work wonders on my hair. As I dye my hair quite frequently, I need to take care of it and make sure that it doesn’t become brittle. They both leave it feeling really soft and luxurious which is something a lot of shampoos lack. A lot also lack in moisture but these two make my hair look and feel like I have just been to salon. These and conditioner are the only things I put on my hair as I swear by them. By making my hair look and feel good they make me look presentable and feel good about myself.

Conditioner – Dove Daily Moisture & Garnier Fructus Colour Last. These are great for making my hair look and feel super soft and shiny. Like with their corresponding shampoos, they leave my hair feeling moisturised which for me is a must have as, due to my depression, there are a lot of times when I don’t take care of myself as well as I should. Even when I put my hair into a messy bun because I’m feeling like crap, knowing that these products take care of my hair (even after just one wash) when I put very little effort into doing so really helps.

Face scrub – Nuage Skin & T-Zone. When I’m feeling like my skin is in a bad way, I reach for these two products. The T-Zone Gel Facial Wash is the first treatment I tried for reoccurring spots and I have to say that it works like a charm and has been my favourite since. I like to apply it before I shower and then wash it off after shampooing my hair but before washing it out.
The Nuage Skin face scrub is a grit-based face wash. I like to apply this one when I’m in the shower and really scrub at my face to get rid of dirt that has accumulated throughout the day (or days if I don’t have time). It’s excellent at really getting in there and cleaning out your pores. It is a go-to when I’m in need of looking after myself as it makes me feel more presentable.

Pore Strips - Skin Benefits. These plain white pore strips are amazing. They really get in there and do exactly what they are supposed to. I’ve tried other pore strips before but I keep coming back to these ones as they are the only ones that I’ve seen really good results with. I did try a charcoal brand a few times but between them not drying and having zero flexibility around the nostrils, I wasn’t impressed. These Skin Benefits pore strips are flexible and give a great coverage over pesky nose blackheads.

Hand Cream/Moisturiser – Dove & Inecto. For whatever reason, when I get really anxious, the skin on the back of my hands gets cracked and the skin on my hands peels easily. I like to rotate between a small pot of Dove moisturiser and a Coconut Scented one by Inecto. I love that they are really lightweight and don’t feel greasy.

Foundation – I know I don’t talk about make-up or even about going out but when I do wear it; the only foundation that I like using is the No.7 Beautifully Matte foundation. It has an “all day velvet matte perfection” look, is oil free and contains SPF 15. It’s lightweight and doesn’t end up “cakey”. I use the shade “calico”; my local Boots were happy to do a colour match for me and found the perfect shade – when I put it on you can’t tell that I’m wearing it.

Lipstick – dark colours, matte. It might come as a surprise to some but New Look’s matte lipsticks are my current favourite lipstick brand. I especially love their rich, dark colours from last year’s collection; they really compliment the matte finish.

Schwarzkopt Hair Dye – I have been dying my hair since I was about 11. It started out with just getting highlights as that was the “in” thing at the time and I wanted a more mature look for starting high school. Anytime I have had my hair bleached or had anything done to lighten my hair I have gone to the hairdressers or they have come to me. When I have felt the need for a colour change-up, though, I always use Schwarzkoft products, particularly their “Live” range and have someone help me get to the hard-to-reach places as my hair is so long and thick. I’m currently a dark brown (natural hair colour) but you can still see the red from one of their dyes when my hair catches the light.  

Nail Polish – matte. You might see a bit of a theme appearing and you would be right; I’m really into the matte look. Surprisingly enough, a matte top coat that works wonders is one that I picked up by Makeup Gallery – the line that Poundland carries. It’s quick-drying and you can see results instantly.

Apologies for not including any pictures, I’m still figuring out the whole photo-editing process and learning to take pictures that don’t like they were taken on a potato and I don’t want to use pictures from other sources as knowing my luck I’ll end up forgetting to credit them.

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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Self-Care Response #13 ft Kerry

Self-Care Q&A

This week it’s the wonderful Kerry at Don’t Drop the Baby’s turn to write a response! Find out what she had to say below. You can find her on Twitter as well!

1. How do you know when you are in need of some self-care?

When I start to get snappy with my family, my chest starts to get tight, and intrusive thoughts start to appear again. This also happens when I'm extremely tired or have PMT!

2. Once you are aware that you need to take care of yourself, do you usually do so alone or do you have someone you can go to when you need some TLC?

I am very much a loner, especially when I am feeling anxious or overwhelmed. I need to spend time by myself either listening to music or being mindful.

3. Do you find it hard to make time for yourself?

Yes definitely. I have a 3 year old daughter, my partner works shifts, and neither of us have any family nearby. My 'me time' is squeezed into a couple of hours every evening! Although my daughter has started nursery now so things will get easier.

4. Is there anything that gets in the way of your “me” time/disrupts it (for me: noises outside can put me on edge or if other people are home I need to be mindful of how long I take, say, in the shower)?

I'm the same with noises outside! Sometimes if I'm extremely anxious and my partner is working nights, I get very jumpy at every little noise. I suppose social media can also affect my 'me time', as sometimes it can wind me up or make me even more anxious!

5. Do you ever feel guilty for having “me” time?

I used to when my daughter was younger, but not so much anymore as I hardly ever get it!

6. Do you schedule in “me” time or do you “go with the flow”/only take “me” time when you feel you need it?

I do try to schedule in nights out with my friends as it gives me something to look forward to. Other than that I very much just go with the flow. I will always tell my partner if I need a break though and he will take my daughter out for a bit on the weekends.

7. Is there a self-care routine that you try to follow?

Yes, I do high intensity cardio workouts every other morning (at home), yoga, follow a healthy diet and use my Headspace app to practice mindfulness.

8. When you feel down/not like your usual self; what do you do to cheer yourself up (hobbies, being with loved ones etc)?

I listen to my favourite music, write my blog and have a couple of glasses of wine. This usually leads to a really good cry and I always feel better the day after.

9. Do you have any mantras that you say to yourself as a pick me up or on a daily basis?

Not on a daily basis, but I usually just say "what will be will be"

                                                                                                                                                                              

10. Finally; do you have any self-care tips for anyone who might be reading this?

I cannot recommend a regular exercise routine strongly enough, it has completely changed my life. I haven't used medication to control my anxiety for years, I do it all through exercise, diet and mindfulness.

~ Thanks again to Kerry for answering the questions! Again, you can find her at https://dontdropthebaby.co.uk/ and https://twitter.com/KerryMeeGee.

Anxiously,

Me

If you decide to use this, please let me know first and give credit. There’s nothing worse than finding out something that you worked really hard on has been taken and uncredited, sometimes even plagiarised.

You can find Anxiously, Me on:

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Avoiding Situations

Avoiding Situations

When you feel stressed and anxious, it is common to put things off and avoid going to certain places – particularly if you have had a bad experience/felt panicky or anxious there before. Later on, though, it becomes more difficult to revisit that place in case you then feel anxious there again and become overwhelmed.

An example of anxiety leading to avoidance is:
feeling physical symptoms of anxiety (for example; heart racing, feeling dizzy) in a busy shop which then leads to feeling ill/wobbly. You then feel like you need to leave that place so you abandon your shopping and get out into the fresh air as soon as possible. You then return, say a week, later but the same feelings start to stir so you leave before you get to the till again. After that, you don’t feel like going back as every time you have so far has made you feel really bad so you think of other ways to get your shopping. This may include getting someone else to do your shopping for you or even doing it online. You may even end up going to smaller shops with less choice that are more expensive just to avoid the one where you felt anxious. Soon you end up avoiding going shopping altogether as you end up associating shopping with feeling anxious.
This may also occur with public transport, making phone calls etc.

You may find yourself avoiding certain situations in case you end up feeling anxious/physical symptoms of anxiety. This is referred to as “fear of fear” as it means you are frightened of doing something in case it leads to you feeling physical symptoms of anxiety.

Not everyone feels this way. Many associate this feeling with having to “get a grip” of themselves. Sometimes, though, it is not that easy and you still find yourself feeling bad. 

It is important to remember that the more you avoid a situation, the worse you will feel. It is also important to gradually expose yourself back into said situations as the more often you do it, the less anxious you will feel.

*Note: Pieces about Mental Health Information are based off of what I have been taught and the "homework" books that were given are used as a guideline for these posts. Whilst I may have been taught these things by health care professionals, I am not one and information may change or be inaccurate. If you feel at risk by your thoughts and feelings or have concerns about you health; please seek help from loved ones and health care professionals. This information is not to be used to self-diagnose. If you know you have hypochondriac tendencies, are sensitive to subjects like bullying, depression and anxiety, and are easily triggered then information and experiences shared in this blog may cause distress. I have tried my best to provide trigger warnings and warnings about sensitive subjects but please read at your own discretion.

Art

Art

When I was a kid, you could either find me writing, singing or drawing (never in class in case I got in trouble – I was anxious even back then). At home I was always daydreaming about what I wanted my life to be like – where I would live, what kind of house I would have, what my career would be… and then I would turn it into either a fictional piece of writing or I would draw what I had envisioned for myself. One time I even started a scrapbook with cut-outs from magazines and catalogues whereas nowadays I use Pinterest for that kind of thing. It was my way of coping with being bullied and having either no friends or only one at a time who would soon get bored of me because I didn’t like whatever was “in” at the time. As I got older, my need to be creative got even more intense as did my want to fit in. I joined a children’s circus which I attend up until I left Primary School, I was involved with NYCoS (National Youth Choir of Scotland), was in a choir at both Primary and secondary school, I was a leader at a local kid’s club and I joined a creative writing group. I would still do art work at home and write fictional pieces for myself but I kept that part of my world private. I didn’t want others to know that side of me for fear of being made fun for it, that my fantasies of finding someone who would love me for me and getting married to them were laughable to them because I was constantly told that I was “too fat” for “human things” like pretty dresses (yep; kids and shop assistants can be really cruel) and “too ugly” to even keep a friend never mind a boyfriend. I didn’t even have someone that I could share things like that with because I found out at a very early age that I couldn’t confide in people my age because they would take it and use it to make of me. Even now I don’t share things like that with anyone as I have never learned to trust anyone enough to be that vulnerable around them. I don’t mind people seeing me in my depressed state because I’m not ashamed of it but I will never let them see what makes me the happiest for fear of it being taken away. I have very few good days as it is and I will be damned if someone makes it so that I can’t enjoy even the smallest of things that make me happy.

As time went on and I got to high school, I had completely stopped getting any sort of enjoyment from performing or doing art due to a couple of teachers. This began in my very first week of high school and got really bad during my senior years (4^th, 5^th and 6^th year here). I stopped taking music class and going to choir when I entered 3^rd year (we got to pick most of our classes) because when I was in 1^st year the teacher called me out in front of the whole class for cheating on a test (or “pop quiz” as they’re known in some places). I hadn’t been cheating at all and there was no way for me to do so. I sat at the very back of the class (wasn’t even that far back as there were instruments behind us so I was more in the middle of the room), didn’t have a desk partner that I could’ve been copying off of and my phone was at home. I hadn’t been doing anything that could’ve looked suspicious either; I was just filling in my test form. I could never tell whether or not she was ever being genuinely sincere either as everything that came out of her mouth sounded sarcastic. I had started to physically feel unwell the night before I was due in her class as well (which I would later find out was a symptom of my anxiety) so I started missing school due to being unable to get out of bed for fear of being sick or would go home at lunch feeling unwell before her afternoon class. I would end up with throat infection after throat infection making it difficult for me to sing (late found to be brought on by the stress of being in her class). I spent a lot of time in the nurse’s office over those two years that I had her.
In art class I didn’t get any form of support from my teachers over the last two years that I was doing the course and aside from my anxiety and depression getting really bad, I clashed a bit with one of them. I wasn’t a kid who shouted out in class or who disrupted it; she just liked to pick on every single thing that I did. I didn’t like her for that reason and she made it clear that she didn’t like me despite not having a reason to – I certainly wasn’t going to give her one. She would tell me off if I decided to talk to the other kids at my table (which was rare as it was as I liked to just go in and get my work done and I was always quiet even when speaking) and would just make me feel unwelcome in her class. She seemed to get a kick out of making me feel like an outcast in her class so when I found out the she was taking my class again in 6^th year after 3 years of having other teachers, I gave her a couple of months to see if she did anything. At first we were fine; she actually said that she was “thrilled” to have me back and I was willing to let my first two-year experience of having her as a teacher slide. I wanted to get through my final year with very little to no issues. Then the little things that she did started to wear me down. Any tools that she gave me (pencils, clay cutting implements) were broken or severely damaged. When I asked for replacements she would spend most of the class looking for them so I couldn’t do any of my work (and would then tell me off for not having done anything) and when I didn’t know how to do something (photoshop for example), she would act as though teaching me how to use it was a chore. It got to the point where I was mute during my lessons with her (apart from the anxiety-inducing action of having to call out “here”) and I stopped asking her for help. I had had enough to the point where getting a good grade in her class wasn’t worth going in and feeling like everything I did was wrong so I would give into my feeling of being ill again (which I had tried to put aside for my last year for fear of not getting any qualifications so that I could go to college and live the life I wanted) and go home or not go to school at all. I spoke to my head of year about how being in class made me feel and he offered to speak to her about it but I didn’t want there to be any further issues stemming from doing so therefore my only option was to drop art. I felt like a failure but I was also so relieved that I no longer had anything holding me back or getting me down teacher-wise. 

However, in spite of all that, I would really like to share some of my art work with you at a later date so keep your eyes peeled for that!

Anxiously,
Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on:
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