Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

Everyone gets annoyed. It’s a natural reaction. It can be over something little, something major or even a build-up of so many things over a period of time. Usually, for me, when I am stressed and/or sleep deprived I end up getting annoyed by the little things. It doesn’t help that I have misophonia which is sensitivity to selected sounds. I’ve compiled a list of the things that really get under my skin. I’ll put (M) next to the ones that are triggering to my misophonia.

1. People ending statements with a question mark. It just makes you sound unsure of yourself and if you’re not sure about what you’re saying then how can others trust your statement? For example, if someone writes “I had so much fun?” I end up thinking “did you or did you not have fun?” Are you sure you did have fun?

2. Messiness. If I am in a room I can’t concentrate or sleep if it is messy. As some of you may know; I have been known to tidy friends’ rooms when I’ve stayed over (with permission) but if that’s not possible I go home. It still grates on me, though, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I have spoken to mental health workers about this and have been told that I have obsessive compulsive tendencies brought on by stress and anxiety.

3. Open mouthed chewing/eating noisily. (M) When someone starts crunching down on food or smacking their lips it’s all I can hear. My brain tunes into it and seems to amplify the sound. My shoulders end up by my ears and it makes me want to cry. It drives me crazy and I have to remove myself from the room the person is in.

4. People touching me. I can’t stand being touched – even if it’s someone just putting their hand on my knee or putting their hands on my shoulders. Ideally I like people to ask if they can hug me/touch me for whatever reason (haircuts etc) and it’s all down to not feeling safe around people. If you read my Blogtober post about my experiences with bullying then you’ll probably have guessed that my fear of being touched stems from that.

5. Tinny music in public spaces. If you have headphones; use them. I guarantee no one else wants to hear whatever it is you’re listening to. (M)

There are loads more I could list but out of fear of boring you all or just seeming out of my mind for being triggered by the little things I will stop here.

Is there anything else that grates on you?

Anxiously,

Me

You can find Anxiously, Me on
This blog
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

Why I Don't Like Lists on Twitter...

… and Why I Don’t Want You to Add Me to Them.

You may have noticed on Twitter that whenever I get added to a list, I ask to be removed and here is the reason why; I find it extremely triggering. Now, that should be where I leave that statement but, whenever I ask to be removed, I always get asked “why?”  And I’m rather fed up of it. It’s not because I’m being rude and don’t want to talk to anyone/want to cause an argument/want to be difficult but it seems to be the case that no one has thought that maybe I just don’t want to talk about it? Why? It’s painful. But no; they want answers and never seem to be satisfied with “please can you remove me?” Or with the follow up: “because of personal reasons”. Is that not enough? To be asked nicely? To be told it’s a personal matter? To be honest, it’s really not anyone’s business but my own and I shouldn’t (I don’t, really) owe you an explanation but there are those who still want to know so here we go:

Back when I was in high school, people used to add me to lists all the time (not just via Twitter – I don’t think they were an option back then) and let’s just say they weren’t for anything nice. So now every time I get added to one, my brain goes to “why have they done this? Who is going to see this and what have I done “wrong” to warrant being put on a list?” It was traumatising, to say the least, that I could just go about my normal day (going to classes, keeping to myself, barely looking at anyone or interacting with them) and still be put on a list for “Fattest Bitches in S4” that I would then be sent or even tagged in. Yes; back then I was fat (still am) but it’s not like it was such a secret that I didn’t know and needed to be told – or the rest of the school.
Do you know how traumatising that form of bullying can be? To be put on lists of “People to Avoid” when your biggest crime was just wanting to learn? I know there will be some people who will question whether or not that is bullying and I think, if you have to question it, then you should take a good, long, hard look at some of your own actions and decide whether or not they are potentially harmful. It’s not only humiliating but extremely damaging to your self-confidence & self-esteem and can make people so depressed over why others can’t just accept them for whom they are that they don’t want to be alive because, according to that lovely list, they don’t deserve to be.
So, naturally, now whenever I get added to a list, I’m instantly transported back to that time and back to feeling like I don’t belong.  I hate feeling like that so therefore would rather not a) be put on lists and b) be asked about why I don’t want to be on them.

The next time someone asks to be removed from a list, group chat etc or for you to stop doing something to them I want you to ask yourself these important questions:

Could it be a personal, private reason as to why the person doesn’t want to be included?
Could asking be potentially triggering?
Do I want to be the cause of someone’s pain?

And then, if you still want to know the reasons why, ask yourself this final question:
Is it any of my f------ business?

The answer is no. It’s not. They don’t owe you an explanation at all and you have no right to be asking why.

Please be considerate of other people’s feelings and don’t pry; if they wanted to tell you then they would.

Now that you know why I don’t like them or want to be added to them, if you still really want to add me to a one; ask me first and tell me what the nature of your list is. If I say “no”; it’s nothing personal to do with you and, again, I’m not trying to be difficult; I have my reasons and I really don’t want to talk about them. It’s not beneficial to you to know and it’s certainly not to me. Oh, and please be following my account first otherwise you just look like a stalker and it makes me even more anxious knowing that someone I don’t know has added me to something.

Anxiously,
Me

You Can Find Anxiously, Me on:
This blog
Twitter
Facebook
Instagram

A Bit of a Slump/Announcement

Right now I am in a bit of a slump when it comes to how I'm feeling, getting motivated and figuring out what I want to write about. I feel so awful all of the time; I'm exhausted even though I'm sleeping better than I have done in years, every little thing is getting to me and my anxiety and depression are really bad. I can't be bothered to do anything hence why, when I'm feeling OK, I always talk about how much writing I'm doing. I get it all "out of the way" as I know that feeling is only temporary and I'll go back to feeling really down and demotivated in a short while. It gives me a chance of keeping this blog on a schedule and also allows me to recover whilst still only posting promotional Tweets/Facebook posts now that my scheduler is working.

For now I'm taking a bit of a social media break, something which I know a lot of you already know about and have been really supportive of so far (thank you; it means so much), but I really would love to know if there is anything you want to see more of this month.
Here are some things I wouldn't mind doing/talking about:

Tags/Q&As
Posts on bullying, school etc
How To posts (like my untagging one)

Is there anything you would like to see? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter/Facebook and I'll see what I can do!

Speak of future posts, that brings me onto my announcement; I will be taking part in Blogtober this year! I have already written some posts on my good days for said event and have a set schedule for that. Is there anything you want to see during Blogtober? Again, please let me know in the comments; I always look forward to reading them and interacting with you all.

Thanks for being so supportive 💖

Anxiously,

Me

You Can Find Anxiously Me on:
This blog
Twitter
Facebook
& Instagram

Untagging on Twitter

Isn't it annoying when, with the new Twitter update, you end up having to reply to everyone tagged instead of just being able to delete their names like you used to be able to do?

Imagine how much more annoying it is when you're inundated with said replies just because the original poster tagged you and those replying haven't untagged you. It can be rather disappointing when you're waiting on a specific tweet back from someone and see a notification only to find it's from a conversation that you're not apart of.

Here's how to untag other people from a Twitter reply in few easy steps. 

First: click on the speech bubble to reply to the Tweet you are tagged in/wish to reply to:

You will then see this (obviously with different names): 

Click on the names tagged:

Then untick the box(es) next to the name(s) you wish to NOT reply to:

Click "save": 

And then you are free to reply like so: 

Now that you know how to untag people from replies/conversations let me know if there is anything else you would like steps on how to do. I'm thinking of making this a "bonus" feature on the blog and would like some suggestions.

Anxiously (when I see so many replies I think "what have I done?"),

Me

You can find me on Twitter and Instagram as well as on this blog.